🌺What Mother's Day Really Means (And What It Doesn't Have To)
- tirrahargrow
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Let me talk to you about Mother's Day for a second, because I think a lot of us have a complicated relationship with this day. And we need to talk about it.
First, let me be clear: Mother's Day was created with good reason. I believe in mothers having a day to celebrate. It is important, and we should honor it. Period.
And I also want to name something else. Mother's Day is manufactured. Capitalism has gotten ahold of it and blown it up to the point where it now carries a weight it was never supposed to carry. The pressure to buy the right gift, post the perfect photo, feel the right feelings on the right day. It's a lot. And for many of us, it makes a day that should feel beautiful feel complicated instead.
So before we go any further, I want you to hear this:
You get to decide what Mother's Day means to you. And that meaning gets to change from year to year.
🖤WHEN MOTHER'S DAY FEELS COMPLICATED
Some years you are all in. You love the texts, the flowers, the posts, all of it. Other years you feel like Scrooge. You want nothing to do with it. And both of those responses are completely valid.
This day can feel especially heavy if:
🖤 You have lost your mother
🖤 You never had a good relationship with her
🖤 You never knew her
🖤 You wanted to become a mom and it did not happen the way you hoped
🖤 You have lost a child
These are real experiences. They deserve to be named. And you should never feel shame for stepping back from a day that brings up grief instead of celebration.
If it helps you mentally to not honor this day, don't feel bad about it. You can tell people, "This year, I'm not celebrating Mother's Day," and that is a complete sentence.
MY OWN STORY
I want to share something personal with you.
Mother's Day used to be one of my favorite days. And then I lost my mother. She passed four days before Mother's Day, 29 years ago. And this holiday has never been quite the same since.
Once I had my own children (she passed before they were born), I knew I wanted to be present for them on this day. I wanted to be the kind of mother my kids would want to celebrate. But my kids know to ask me every single year, "What do you want to do for Mother's Day?" Because some years I am fully in it, and some years I am not.
I share this because I want you to know: if this day feels messy for you, you are not alone. Not even a little bit.
EXPANDING WHO WE HONOR
Here is something I love about Mother's Day. It is also an opportunity to honor any woman who has nurtured you.
Your auntie. Your god mama. Your family friend who was like a second mother to the kids in the neighborhood. The nanny. The older woman at church who always had a word for you. Any woman who has provided nurturance in your life, she is worth honoring today.
You do not have to limit this day to biological mothers. Widen the circle.
USE THIS DAY TO MOTHER YOURSELF
And if none of the above feels right for you this year, here is my invitation: use this day to mother yourself.
Any woman can take this day to do something that feels nourishing. Rest. Create. Be still. Step away from the noise.
If you are on the goddess path, this is a beautiful day to do some spiritual work with the Great Mother. Light a candle. Pull an oracle card. Sit in stillness and let her hold you. Let yourself be the one who is nurtured for a change.
You do not have to celebrate anything to claim the gift of this day.
A FINAL WORD
Mother's Day gets to be whatever you need it to be. From year to year, it can shift. You are allowed to show up differently each time.
However this day lands for you, I am holding you with love.
Big Hugs and Love to you, Queen.
Tirra-Omilade
Spiritual Guide | Astrologer | Priestess
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